Chapter 3: THE MAINTENANCE OF KINSHIP

CHAPTER THREE t

CONCERNING THE MAINTENANCE OF KINSHIP In actual fact, this Chapter is a supplement to the previous Chapters-Nevertheless, since special emphasis has been laid on this matter by Allah Ta'ala in the Holy Qur'an and Rasulullah ﷺ has also done the same in the Ahadith pronouncing threats of severe punishment for breaking kinship, a specific Chapter has been devoted to this subject. Rasulullah ﷺ has said that the reward for Sadaqah given to the kith and kin is doubled. When Ummul Momeneen Maimunah Radhiyallahu anha set free a slave-girl, Rasulullah ﷺ told her that it would have been better if she had given her away to her own uncle. Hence, if there be no important religious obligation, it is better to give Sadaqah to a relative than to anyone else. However, in meeting a religious need for the cause of Allah Ta'ala, the reward is multiplied seven hundred times. Numerous encouraging rewards are promised in the Holy Qur'an and Ahadith for the protection of ldnship, while punishments are indicated for breaking relationships If all of these were to be covered, the book would become too bulky; therefore, only three Ayah about the encouragements and three about the punishments have been selected and thereafter a few Ahadith have been discussed.

L Lol Allah enjoins justice and kindness, and giving to kinsfolk, and forbids lewdness and abomination and wickedness. He exhorts you in order that you may take heed (an-Nahl: 90)

Note: Allah Ta'alq has ordered (us) in many places in the Qur'an co be well-wishers of our kith and kin and has encouraged us to be generous to them. A few Ayah in that connection are indicated here, which may be studied separately from a translation of the Qur'an:

‘And be good to parents and to kindred (al-Baqarah: 83). Say: That which ye spend for good (must go) to parents and near kindred (i ol-Baqarah: 215) The following Ayah of Surah (an-Nisa: 1-10):

‘O mankind! Be careful of your duty to your Lord Who created you from a single soul and from it created its mate and from the twain hath spread abroad a multitude of men and women. Be careful of your duty towards Allah in Whom ye claim (your rights) of one another, and toward the wombs (that bore you). Lot Allah hath been a Watcher over you. ‘Give unto orphans their wealth. Exchange not the good for the bad (in your management thereof) nor absorb their wealth into your own wealth. Lot that would be a great sin.'

‘And if ye fear that ye will not deal fairly by the orphans, marry of the women, who seem good to you, two or three or four; and if ye fear that ye cannot do justice (to so many); then one (only) or (the captives) that your right hands possess. Thus it is more iiUeij ihnc v will not do injustice. ‘And give unto the women, (whom ye marry) free gift of their marriage portions; but if they of their own accord remit unto you a part thereof, then ye are welcome to absorb it (in your wealth). ‘Give not unto the foolish (what is in) your (keepig of their) wealth, which Allah hath given you to maintain; but feed and clothe them from it, and speak kindly unto them. ‘‘Prove orphans till they reach the marriageable age; then, if ye find them of sound judgement, deliver over unto them their fortune; and devour it not by squandering and in haste lest they should grow up. Whoso (of the guardians) is rich, let him abstain generously (from taking of the property of orphans); and whoso is poor let him take thereof in reason (for guardianship). And when ye deliver up their fortune unto orphans, have (the transaction) witnessed in their presence. Allah sufficeth as a Reckoner. ‘Unto the men (of a family) belongeth a share of that which parents and near kindred leave, and unto the women a share of that which parents and near kindred leave, whether it be little or much — a legal share.’

‘And when kinsfolk and orphans and the needy are present at the division (of the heritage), bestow on them therefrom and speak kindly unto them.’

‘And let those fear (in their behaviour toward orphans) who if they left behind them weak offspring would be afraid for them. So let them mind their duty to Allah, and speak justly. ‘Lo! Those who devour the wealth of orphans wrongfully, they do but swallow fire into their bellies, and they will be exposed to burning flame. (an-NisacLl-lO). Also other Ayah in the Quihn viz; ‘(Show) kindness unto parents, and unto near kindred. (an-Nisaa: 36).

‘And ye do good to parents. (al-An'aam: 151).

‘And those who are akin are nearer one to another in the ordinance of Allah. (al-Anfaal: 75).

‘Have no fear of this dayl May Allah forgive you.’ (Yusuf: 92).

‘Such as unite that which Allah hath commanded should be joined. (ar-Ra’d: 21).

‘Our Lord! Forgive me and my parents’. (Ibrahim: 41). ‘And that you show kindness to parents’ (Bani Isra'il: 23). ‘And lower unto them the wing of submission’. (BaniIsrael: 24).

‘Give the kinsman his due’, (Bani-Israel: 26).

‘And he was devout, And dutiful toward his parents’. (Maryam: 13, 14).

‘And (hath made me) dutiful toward her,. (Maryam: 32).

‘When he said unto his father: O my father! Why worshippest thou that which heareth not, nor seeth, nor can in aught avail thee’? (Maryam 42).

‘He enjoined upon his people worship and almsgiving’, (Maryam 55).

‘And enjoin upon thy people worship’. (Ta-ha: 132):

‘And who say: Our Lord! Vouchsafe us comfort of our wives and of our offspring’. (al-Furqan: 74).

‘And be gracious unto me in the matter of my seed' (al-Ahqaf: 15). ‘My Lord! forgive me and my parents,. (an-Nooh: 28).

Ayah ON IMPORTANCE OF MAINTAINING KINSHIP The above Ayah are quoted as an example, as giving more details will increase the volume of this book. These are besides the three that are fully discussed hereunder. In addition to these, Allah Taala has stressed this subject repeatedly in the Holy Qur'an, which confirms the great importance of this topic. Ka‘b al-Ahbar Radhiyallahu anhu swears by Allah Ta‘ala and then says that it is mentioned in the Tauraat (old Testament) 'Fear Allah and be good to kith and kin; I shall prolong your life, make it easy for you to get the things which bring comfort, and drive away all difficulties from you". Allah Taala has, at many places in the Qur'an, ordered the maintenance of kinship. As for example it is said; y 'Fear Allah Whom you beg to fulfil your needs; and be careful of kinship. (an-Nisaa: 1).

In another place it is said:

"Fulfil the obligations towards the kith and kinn.

Lo! Allah enjoins justice and kindness (to the people) and to show beneficence to kith and kinn. (an-Nahl: 90).

Yet in another place it is said,"Allah Ta'ala orders you uphold Tauheed and recite La Ilaha Illallah’.

FAZA 'fL-ESADAOAA T

- PART ONE Allah Ta'ala has ordered fulfilment of three obligations; He.further prohibits three things: indecency, acts against Shari'ah, cruelty to people. Allah then says:"He exhorts you in order that you may take heed". Uthman Bin Mazoun Radhiyallahu anhu has narrated that he had great love for Rasulullah ﷺ, which led him to become a Muslim; Rasulullah ﷺ used to ask him to accept Islam and he became a Muslim in deference to him. Islam had not yet taken root in his heart. Once he was sitting with Rasulullah ﷺ who was talking to him and turned to another side,in such a manner as if he was talking to someone invisible. Later he turned to him (Uthman) and told him that Jibra’il Alaihissalaam had come and revealed to him the Ayah (upto its end. Uthman felt very pleased with the subject matter of the Ayah and he wholeheartedly accepted Islam. After that, Uthman Radhiyallahu anhu went to Abu Talib, Rasulullah’s uncle, and told him that he was with his nephew when the particular Ayah was revealed. Abu Talib told him to follow Muhammad ﷺ, as he will be benefited by Allah: he might be a true Rasul or not, but he teaches you good manners and ways of kindliness.This is the advice of a person who did not accept Islam, but said that whether the claim of Muhammad to prophethood is true or false, the teachings of Islam are the best in all respects, as these bring about improvement in manners and social conduct. Alas! These days the Muslims have a very poor reputation in this respect.

Translation: 2. And let not those who posses dignity and ease among you swear not to give the near of kin and to the needy, and to fugitives, for the cause of Allah. Let them forgive and show indulgence. Yearn ye not that Allah may forgive you? Allah is Forgiving, Merciful. (an-Nur: 22)

Note: This Ayah and its translation has also been given in Chapter I, at No. 18. The purpose in its repetition here is to take heed and to remind ourselves of the behaviour of our ancestors and of the admonitions from Allah Ta'ala on this subject at that time. It was a very serious and important happening that the wife of Rasulullah SoUaUaho alayhi wa sallam enjoying the respectability of a mother for all Muslims, was falsely blamed by (some of) her"children". Among these gossip-mongers were the near relatives too, who were being given material support by her father, Abu Bakr Radhiyallahu anhu, who was obviously deeply grieved and shocked by their wrong behaviour. Yet, Allah Ta'ola advised (him) to forgive them and overlook their fault, upon which Abu Bakr Radhiyallahu anhu promptly acted and increased their allowances. Do we nowadays treat our relatives in this way, when they put false blame on us or wrongly accuse our family members with something serious and dirty. On the contrary, even after reading the above Ayah of the Holy Qur'an,our enemity will extend not to their children alone but to all those who associate with them. How can we justify such an attitude, when Allah Ta'ala's clear orders are that we must not stop giving them any type of help that they need? But those who have true faith and have firm conviction about the Greatness and Glory of Allah Ta'ala and His sacred commandments, have proved and shown practically how to obey Him with total submission. May Allah Ta'ala bless them with His Mercy and Kindness worthy of His Divine Honour and Dignity, and exalt them to the highest spiritual level! They, too, had hearts with all the weaknesses and deep sense of honour, but all these were subject to the pleasure of Allah Ta'ola.

Translation: 3. And We have commanded unto man kindness towards parents. His mother beareth him with reluctance, and bringeth him forth with reluctance, and the bearing of him and the weaning of him is thirty months, till, when he attaineth full strength and reacheth forty years, he saith; My Lordl Enable me that I may give thanks for the favour wherewith Thou hast favoured me and my parents, and that I may do right acceptable unto thee. And be gracious unto me in the matter of my seed. Lot I have turned unto thee, repentant, and Lol I am of those who are Muslims. Those are they from whom We accept the best of what they do and overlook their evil deeds. (They are) among the owners of Jannah. This is the true promise that they were promised (in the world), (alAhqaaf: 15-16),

Note: Allah Ta'ala has repeatedly exhorted mankind about kindness to kith and kin and the parents, as has been explained under the previous Ayah Jn this Ayah particular emphasis has been laid on being kind to the parents. This commandment about parents appears three times in the Qur'an. First, in Surah Ankaboot,then in Surah Luqman and thirdly, here in Surah Ahqaaf, where it appears with a greater emphasis. The writer of"Khazin"has narrated that the Ayah was revealed in honour of Abu Bakr Radhiyallahu anhu. His Companionship with Rasulullah ﷺ commenced when they travelled to Syria. Rasulullah ﷺ was then twenty years old and Abu Bakr was only eighteen. During the journey they stopped near a Jujube tree. Abu Bakr Radhiyallahu anhu went to meet a monk who lived nearby and Muhammad ﷺ rested under the tree. The Monk enquired from Abu Bakr about the person sitting under the tree. Abu Bakr told him that he was Muhammad bin Abdullah bin Abdul Muttalib. The Monk said,"By Allah! he is a Nabi; no one has sat under that tree after Isaa Alaihissalam. He is the last of the AmbiyarWhen Rasulullah ﷺ reached the age of forty and was bestowed with ‘Nubuwwat’ (apostleship), Abu Bakr Radhiyallahu anhu embraced Islam. After two years, when he (Abu Bakr) reached the age of forty, he prayed,"Allah! Enable me to offer proper thanks for the reward that has been bestowed upon me and my parents". Ali Radhiyallahu anhu has said that no one among the Mohjireen (Immigrants) has had the privilege of Abu Bakr, both whose parents and children were all Muslims. The Ayah in Surah Xnkaboot is more emphatic about the parents, i.e. be kind to them even if they are non-Muslims. When the disbelieving parents are to be treated kindlly and graciously by the order of Allah Ta'ala, the orders about the Muslim parents are obviously of much greater importance, Sad Ibne Abi Waqas Radhiyallahu anhu has said that, when he embraced Islam, his mother resolved not to eat or drink anything till Sad gave up the religion of Muhammad ﷺ. Food and drink used to be forced into her mouth. Thereupon the Ayah in Surah ‘Ankaboot was revealed. It shows the severity of admonition, that, even in such difficult circumstances, the parents are to be treated kindly. However! if they order a person to forsake the true faith (Unity of Allah); they are not to be obeyed. When someone asked Hasan Radhiyallahu anhu as to what was the limit of kindness to be shown to the parents, he replied, To spend all that you possess on them and to obey every command that they make, except if it is to commit a sin". Such has been the teaching of Islam for the Muslims. They were to remain good to the polytheist parents: even if the latter tried hard to turn a Muslim son to polythesim, he must remain good to them but shun ‘Shirk (polytheism), and must not obey them in this regard.

No one is to be obeyed against an obligation to the Creator.

Despite the parent’s persistent efforts to make the son polytheist, the duty of the son is to be good to them. One of the Ahadith regarding the Ayah in Surah Luqman sys that this particular Ayah was revealed at the time of the incident of Sa'd Radhiyallahu anhu. The Hadith quotes Sa‘d as saying that he used to treat his mother extremely cordially and, when he became a Muslim, his mother exclaimed,"What have you done? You must leave Islam or else I shall give up eating and drinking till death comes to me, upon which the people will reproach you for being the cause of my death". Sa‘d requested her not to take that step and said that he could not give up his religion. She did not eat or drink for two consecutive days. On that Sa'ad told her that, even if she had one hundred lives and gave up all, one after the other, still he would not give up Islam. When she witnessed his determination, she started taking food and drink. The famous theologian Abul Laith Rahmatullah alayhi says that, even if Allah Taala did not emphasize the rights of parents, common sense indicated that their rights are important and obligatory. So much so, that Allah Ta'ala's commandment about this has been given in all the Divine Books, namely Taurah. Icjeel, Zaboor and Qur'an, and all the Ambiya Alaihimussalaam received revelations about it with full emphasis.

The above three Ayah were concerning the good treatment of the kith and kin. The next three Ayah contain warning against their ill-treatment

1. And He misleads thereby only miscreants. Those who break the covenant of Allah after ratifying it, and sever that which Allah ordered to be joined, and

(who) make mischief in the earth. Those are they who are the losers. (al-Baqarah: 26-27).

Note: Just Allah Taala has ordered kindness towards the kith and kin, especially the parents, at several places in the Qur'an, similarly He has also warned repeatedly against the severing of connections with the relatives, particularly with the parents. A reference is made to a few Ayah in that context, as has been done earlier under Ayah 1, in the beginning of this chapter, for the sake of drawing attention to this and to bear them in mind. Allah Ta'ala says:Be careful of your duty toward Allah in Whom ye claim (your rights) of one another, and toward the wombs (that bare you). (an-Nisaa: 1).

And that ye slay not your children because of penury. (al-An’am: 151).

Slay not your children, fearing a fall to poverty. (BaniIsrael: 31).

And whoso saith unto his parents: Fie upon you bothl Do ye threaten me that I shall be brought forth (again) when generations before me have passed away? And they twain cry unto Allah for help (and say): Woe unto theel Believe! Lo! the promise of Allah is true. But he saith: this is naught save fables of the men of old. (alAhqaf: 1 7).

Would ye then, if ye were given the command, work corruption in the land and sever your ties of kinship? (Muhammad: 22 ').

Mohammad Baqir Rahmatullah alayhi was given a strong advice by his father, which has been quoted under Hadith No. 23 in the first Chapter-and is based on sound experience. He narrates that his father, Zain-ul-Aabideen Rahmatullah alayhi advised him as follows:"Avoid the company of five types of people, do not talk to them, never walk with them, if you come across one of them by chance. Those five are: first an immoral person who will sell you for a morsel of bread, or even for less". When asked how could anyone sell a person for less than a morsel, he replied,"He will do so in hope of receiving a morsel, which he may never get". The next one is a miser who will forsake you in your time of need. The third is a liar who is a cheat; he will deceive you by making you believe the far off thing to be near and the near one to be far off. The fourth is a stupid person, who is to be shunned for fear of causing you harm when he intends to do good to you, as it is said that a wise enemy is better than a foolish friend. The fifth is the one who breaks away from his kith and kin, as the curse of Allah descends upon him, as has been mentioned at three places in the Holy Qur'an.

And those who break the covenant of Allah after ratifying it; and sever that which Allah has commanded to be joined, and make mischief in l he earth: theirs is the curse and theirs the ill abode, arRald: 25).

Note: Qatadah Rahmatullah alayhi has advised being extra careful in guarding against breaking an agreement, for that incurs displeasure of Allah. There are more than twenty Ayah containing Allah Ta'ala’s admonishment and threats of severe punishment for breach of a ratified agreement The author believes that Allah Ta'ala has not admonished so many times on any other matter. Therefore, a person must fulfil an agreement under all circumstances. Anas Radhiyallahu anhu reports Rasulullah ﷺ as saying, He who is not trustworthy has no faith (Iman) and he who does not fulfil his promises has no religion!'1' Abu Umamah and Ubadah Radhiyallahu anhuma have also made the same comment (al-Durr al-Manthur). Maimoon Bin Mehraan Rahmatullah alayhi has said that there are three orders which make no distinction between a Muslim and a non-Muslim; First, an agreement must be fulfilled, be it with a Muslim or a non-Muslim, because, in fact it amounts to a vow with Allah Ta'ala. Secondly, a kinship must be upheld, whether it is with a Muslim or a non-Muslim. Thirdly, a property held in trust must be returned, whether the owner of the trust is a Muslim or a non-Muslim.

There are several Ayah in the Qur'an regarding fulfilment of covenants, one of which is:"Fulfil the trust, you will be called to account for it". (Bani Israel: 34) Qatadah Rahmatullah alayhi has said that the order about maintenance of kinship concerns both the near and distant relatives. The other warning in the Ayah is about breaking relationship. Umar Ibne Abdul Aziz Rahmatullah alayhi has said that one should not associate with a person who causes breach of relationship between kith and kin, as he found a curse on him at two places in the Holy Qur'an: one, in the above Ayah and the other in Surah Muhammad. The reference in Surah Muhammad has already been indicated in a preceding paragraph, where it has been said, in the context to breach of relationship, that they are the people who have been cursed by Allah Ta'ala and they have been made deaf,cannot listen to Allah’s commandments) and blind (that they cannot see the path of righteousness). While Umar Ibne Abdul Aziz Rahnuitullah alayhi has mentioned the curse in two places. Zainul Abideen Rahmatullah alayhi has pointed out three places. Two are as above, in Surah Ra‘d and Surah Muhammad, while in the third place, he is called ‘a loser’ and 'one gone astray’ which is close to being called an accursed person, as mentioned earlier in the Ayah from Surah Baqarah.

Salman Rcdhiallaho anhu has quoted Rasulullah ﷺ as saying that, when words abound and practice is locked up in a treasury (that is, plenty of speeches and elaborate writings, but not followed by actions), such an approach creates agreement in words butt hearts remain opposed and there is discord and breach of kinship. In that event, Allah Ta'dla deprives people of His mercy and blessings and makes them blind and deaf. Hasan Radhiyallahu anhu has also quoted Rasulullab Sallallako claihe wa sallam as saying that, when people display their knowledge but have no deeds, and show love verbally while having malice in the hearts and no regard for the kith and kin, Allah Ta'ala drives them away from His kindness and mercy, wherefore, they are unable to see the path of righteousness or what is right or wrong. One Hadith says that the fragrance of Jannah spreads upto a distance covered in five hundred years, but the one who remains disobedient to his parents and disregards kinship will never be able to experience the sweet smell of Jannah.

Abdullah Ibne Abi Aufa Radhiyallahu anhu has said that once, in the evening on the day of Arafah, we (the Sahabah) were sitting around Rasulullah Sallallako alayhi wa sallam. He announced"Any one who has broken his relationship with any of his kin, should leave the company and not sit with us!"Only one man sitting at a great distance got up and went way. After a while, he returned and joined the assembly. Rasulullah ﷺ asked him how only he had left the company after his statement The man said that, after hearing the order, he went straight to his aunt who had broken her relationship with him. On seeing him she asked how it was that he had come to her against his normal practice. He repeated to her the order of Rasulullah ﷺ, on hearing which, she made a Du‘aa of forgiveness for him and he made a similar Du'aa for her and thus they were reconciled with each other. Rasulullah ﷺ was greatly pleased with him, allowed him to rejoin the company, then said that Allah Ta'ala does not grant His blessings or a community among whom there is some one who has broken away from his relations.

This Hadith has been quoted by Faqeeh Abul-Laith Rahmatullah alayhi, who says that damaging kinship is so grave a sin thatven by sitting with a person guilty of such a sin, one is deprived of the blessing of Allah Taala. It is essential, therefore, that anyone who is involved in such a situation, must seek forgiveness of Allah Ta'ala and build up his relationship with his kith and kin. Rasulullah ﷺ has said that there is no good deed the reward of which comes faster,than being good to one's kith and kin; and there is no sin greater than the breach of kinship and cruelty in respect of punishment in this life and in Akhirah. Several TVaditions indicate that the punishment for breach of kinship s experienced even in this life, and in the life of Akhirah,as evident from the above Ayah Faqih Abul-Laith Rahmatiillah alayhi has mentioned a rare story about a very pious and honest man from Khurasan who used to live in Makkah Mukarramah. People used to leave their property as a trust with him. Once, a person left ten thousand Dinars as a trust with him and went away on a journey. When that person returned, the Trustee had died, so the person made enquiries from the family of the deceased but no one knew anything about it. As a large sum of money was involved, the owner asked a gathering of Ulama in Makkah as to what he should do. They told him that the Khurasani was a very pious person who must be in Jannah. The owner should visit the Zainzam well after midnight and call the name of the Trustee, asking him about his money. The owner repeated the process for three nights running, but received no reply. He went back to the Ulama and told them about his efforts. They were surprised and recited: A They were afraidest he should not be in Jannah. So, they advised him to visit a certain place where he would find a valley by the name of Barhoot and, in it a well. He should make a loud call into the well. He did so and received a reply after the very first call, that his money was safe; not trusting his children, he had buried it in such and such place inside the house and the person should ask his son to show him that place, where he should dig his money out The man did so and got back his wealth. He, however, in astonishment, asked the deceased how he was in such a place in spite of being a pious person. The deceased told him that he had some relatives in Khurasan, with whom he had broken his relationship and had died without mending it, which had become the cause of his punishment.

Ali Radhiyallahu anhu has said,"The best of all valleys is the Valley of Makkah Mukarramah,and that valley in India where Adam Alaihisallam was brought down from Jannah, where all the fragrances are, which people use. The worst of valleys are the Ahqaf and the Hazarmout, known as Barhoot The best of all the wells is the Zainzam and the worst of all is the Barhoot well where all the spirits of non-believers are keptH. But the incident related above is an instance of Divine manifestation (i.e. Allah Ta'ola manifesting to a saintly being, a supernatural phenomenon that transcends the conceivable or rational). Obviously, such manifestations have no dogmatic value.

Translation: 3. If one of them or both of them (parents) attain old age with thee, say not"Fie"unto them (anything which may upset or put them to shame) nor repulse them, but speak unto them a gracious word. And lower unto them the wing of submission through mercy, and say: My Lordl Have mercy on them both, as they did care for me when I was little. Your Lord is best aware of what is in your minds. If you are righteous, then lol He was ever forgiving unto those who turn (unto Him)". (Bam Israel: 23, 24, 25).

Note: Mujahid Rahmatullah alayhi has said, in the explanation of this Ayah, that when the parents become aged you aught not to grumble over washing their urine and excreta, as they washed it when you were a baby. Ali Radhiyallahu anhu has said that if there were any degree of disrespect below uttering TJfT, Allah To ala would (probably) have forbidden it When someone asked Hasan Radhiyallahu anhu as to what was the lowest degree of disrespect the reply was,"To deprive them of the benefit of your property and wealth, avoiding to see them and looking at them with sharp looks Another person asked Hasan Radhiyallahu anhu as to what the Qaule Karim’ (gracious word) meant; he replied,"To address them lovingly as 'Mummy and Papa’ and to avoid calling them by their namesfZubair Ibne Muhammad Rahmatullah alayhi has been quoted to explain that whenever they call you, reply,"Present sir". Qatadah Radhiyallahu anhu has said that they should be spoken to politely. Someone asked Sa‘eed bin Musayyab Rahmatullah alayhi that the Qur'an repeats many times the order for good conduct, which is understandable, but the meaning of 'Qaul-e Karim’ is not clear. The reply was that it means the way a slave, guilty of a grave offence, speaks to his master who has a harsh temperament Aishah Radhiyallahu an ha has said that a person, accompanied by an old man, came to Rasulullah. He asked who the old man was? The man said that be was his father. Rasulullah ﷺ told the man,"Do not walk in front of him, do not sit down before he takes his seat, do not call him by his name and never talk to him impolitely.'Urwah Rahmatullah alayhi was asked by someone what is meant when the Qur'an says, ‘Llower unto them? The reply was that, if and when they speak to you unpleasantly, do not look at them angrily, as the dislike first becomes apparent in the eyes. Aisha Radhiyallahu anha quoted Rasulullah ﷺ as saying,"Whoever looks at his father angrily, he is being disobedient". Abdullah Ibne Mas'ud Radhiyallahu anhu has said that once he asked Rasulullah ﷺ as to what was the most acceptable deed in the eyes of Allah Ta'ala. Rasulullah ﷺ said, ‘Salaat offered on its right time. He then asked What came next? The reply was,"Good behaviour towards parents". He again askedWhat came next?The reply was"Jehaad". Another Hadith says that the pleasure of Allah Ta‘ala lies in the pleasure of the father and Allah’s displeasure is caused by the father’s displeasure.

The writer of Mazahir has written that it is the childrens obligation to be humble, to show love and so serve their parents that the latter remain pleased with them, always to obey them in rightful actions, never to be impolite or treat them arrogantly, even if they happen to be non-Muslims, nor to raise their own voice above their parents or to call them by name, not to precede them in any action and, if non-Muslims, to be polite in calling them to good deeds and to prevent them from committing sins; even if they do not accept your advice, still continue to be good to them and keep praying for them, seeking forgiveness of Allah Ta'ala on their behalf. This last is evident from the Holy Qur'an: in Surah Maryam, we are told that Ibrahim Alaihissalam gave good advice (Da'wah'j to his father once and then said to him,"I shall offer Du'aa to Allah Ta'ala for you".

Some Ulama have stated that obedience to parents regarding forbidden things is not permissible, but in doubtful matters, it is obligatory to obey them, bearing in mind that ‘Taqwa’ and the need to be good to them are both essential. For example,if their food is of doubtful nature and your refusal to eat with them might injure their feelings, you should eat with them.

Ibne Abbas Radhiyallahu anhu has said that two doors of Jannah will remain open for every Muslim whose parents are alive and he serves them well, while if he keeps them unhappy, Allah Ta'ala will not be pleased with him until they are pleased with him. Someone asked,"What if they are cruel to me?"Ibne Abbas Radhiyallahu anko replied,"Even then you must remain good to them. Talhah Radhiyallahu anhu anhu has said that once a man came to Rasulullah and requested permission to go for Jehaad. Rasulullah ﷺ asked if his mother was alive; he replied that she was. Rasulullah then told him to persist in serving her well, as Jannah is under the mother’s feet. Rasulullah ﷺ repeated this a second time, even for the third time. Anas Radhiyallahu anhu has said that once a man came to Rasulullah and stated his great desire to go for Jehaad, but added that he had no means for doing so. On' being asked if any one of his parents was alive, he replied that his mother was alive. Rasulullah ﷺ then said,"Fear Allah Ta'ala in her regard;meaning, be careful in fulfilling your obligations towards her, up to the level of Taqwa and when you attain that, you will be considered as the one who has performed Umrah and Hajj, and also participated in Jehaad That is, you will receive whatever reward is earned from all these things.

Muhammad Ibne Almunkadir Rahmatullah alayhi has said"My brother Umar used to spend the whole night in praying, while I used to spend the night in massaging my mothers feet and never felt.envious of his nightlong prayers, nor desired to exchange his reward with mine". Aishah Radhiyallahu anha has said that she asked Rasulullah ﷺ"Of all the obligations of a woman towards other people, which one is the greatest"? He replied,"The one she owes her husband". She then asked who came next and Rasulullah ﷺ replied,"Her mother". A Hadith says ' Remain chaste in respect of other people’s women-folk, then your own women will be chaste; if you remain good to your own parents, your own children will be good to you."(al-Durr al-Manthur) Taaous Rahmatullah alayhi has said that a certain person had four sons. He fell ill. One of his sons told the other three that if they were prepared to nurse the father in his sickness, he would take the whole of his father’s property; and, if they wanted the whole property, he was prepared to nurse him without any claim on the property. They agreed to the second course and left the nursing to him. He looked after the father most admirably until the father died. As agreed, he did not take anything from the property. He saw in a dream, one night, a person telling him that one hundred Dinaars (gold pieces' were buried at such and such place, which he could take. He asked the person if that money was blessed. The reply was,"No, it is not so". He related the dream next morning to his wife, who insisted that he should take the money but he did not agree. He dreamt again the following night and someone told him about ten Dinaars lying buried at a certain place. When he again asked if they were blessed, the reply was in the negative. He related the dream to his wife next morning, who insisted that he should go and take them, but he refused to do so. He saw in a dream, the third night, someone telling him that a single Dinaar was lying at such and such place, he should go and take it He again asked if it was a blessed one. The reply was,"Yes, it is". So, he went and took the Dinaar, purchased two fish with it and brought them home. When cut open for cooking, an invaluable pearl was found in the stomach of each fish. Both these pearls were sold to the king of the country in return for ninety mule-loads of gold.

AHADITH CONCERNING MAINTENANCE OF KINSHIP

Translation: HADITH: 1 Abu Hurairab Radhiyallahu anhu narrates that a man asked Rasulullah ﷺ,"For whom should I be most concerned in maintaining good relations?"Rasulullah ﷺ said,"Your mother." The man put the same question a second and a third time; and each time Rasulullah ﷺ gave the same reply. When he repeated the same question the fourth time, Rasulullah Sallallahu alayhi wasollam said,"Your father and then other relatives, in order of nearness to you In kinship".

Note: Some Ulama infer from this Hadith that a mother’s share is three parts in regard to kind treatment, because Rasulullah ﷺ said, Your mother’ three times and said, ‘your father' only when the question was repeated for the fourth time. The reason for th:s preferment,, the Ulama say, lies in the fact that a mother has to go through three hardships for her child: pregnancy, child-birth and breast-feeding The theologians have added that, if a person does not have the means to take care of both his parents he should give first preference to his mother. However, the father enjoys preference in matters relating to respect and obedience from his children. (Mazahir-e-Haqq). Being a woman, a mother evidently needs more help and loving care of her children. The near relatives are then to be given preference (over others) in order of their kinship, the nearer relations will be given preference over the distant ones.

Arother Hadith narrates"Begin with your mother in your good treatment, then comes your father, then your sister, then your brother and then other kinsmen in order of their nearness in relationship. Do not ignore your neighbours and the needy". (Kanz). Another Hadith quoted by Bahz Bin Hakeem from his grand father repeats the same obligation that a person has to his parents and other relations. Another Hadith indicates that Allah Ta'ala will make the hour of death easy for him who possesses the following three qualities and grant him entiy into Jannah:-

1. is kind to the weak;

2. treats his parents with loving care;

3. shows favour to his subordinates. (Mishkaat)

Translation: HADITH: 2 Rasululiah ﷺ is reported to have said, 'Anyone who wishes to have his means of livelihood enlarged and a prolonged life, should treat his relatives with kindness: In this Hadith the word ‘anyone who wishes to have his footprints last longer', implies prolonged life. For, he who lives longer will leave his footprints for a longer period; when a person dies, his footprints get effaced after a short time. Some people may take an exception to this Hadith saying,"everybody’s term of life is predetermined". At many places in the Holy Qur'an, it has been clearly stated that the term of life is fixed; not a moment can be added or lessened therefrom.

Some Ulama have interpreted the term ‘prolongation of life' as grant of ‘Barakah’ (blessings) in life. Due to Divine blessings a person may accomplish tasks within hours,which others ususally take days to perform, and may accomplish in days what is usually done in months. Others say that ‘prolongation of life’ term implies a laudable remembrance of his good deeds long after his death. Others say that it means, increase in progeny and his descendants’ flourishing after his death.’

It has to be admitted that,as a statement of Rasulullah Sallal laho alayhi wa sallam, all of whose sayings are doubtlessly true these benefits in some form will accrue from maintaining kinship. Allah Ta'ala is all powerful: He may create and bring about anything He wills. Whatever He wills must happen and He creates such subtle means for bringing about events that the wisest of men are taken by surprise. Therefore, there should be no ambiguity about the ‘prolongation of life’ granted as a reward for strengthening family bonds.

Truly the decrees of destiny are unalterable, but Allah Ta'ala has introduced causal relationship in the affairs of the world; for everything that happens in this world, there is a cause either hidden or apparent. For example when a person is suffering from cholera, we send for the doctors in the hope of helpful treatment to make him survive, though we know that his death-hour is fixed and cannot be delayed or hastened. There is no reason for not taking up seriously giving Sadaqah to deserving blood relations as an effective prescription for prolongation of life. This recipe was prescribed by the wisest of all men, Rasulullah ﷺ, whose diagnosis and treatment for human ailments could never be wrong, whereas the physicians of this world may err while diagnosing a disease or writing a prescription. The subject matter of the Hadith quoted above has appeared in other narrations with slight variations, hence it is fully authentic.

It has been narrated in another Hadith, on the authority of Ali Radhiyallahu anhoithat for him who guarantees one thing (respect of kinship), Rasulullah ﷺ has guaranteed four things, namely long life, respect among relatives, increase in means of livelihood and entiy into Jannah. (Kanz). Rasulullah ﷺ told Abu Bakr Radhiyallahu anhu that three results are assured: (1). If a victim of cruelty overlooks it, he will earn greater respect; (2) Whoever hankers after increase in his wealth, will find a decrease in it; (3) Whoever opens the door of Sadaqah and regard for kinship, will have abundant wealth. (al-Durr al-Manthur). The theologian Abul-Laith Rahmntullah alayhi has said that ten rewards are priceless in the obligations of kinship: -

Translation: 1. It wins pleasure of Allah Ta'ala, who has ordered its fulfilment.

Translation: 2. It promotes happiness among the kith and kin - and Rasulullah ﷺ has said that the best of deeds is to make a Muslim happy.

Translation: 3. The angels also feel happy about it

4. The Muslims praise the one who keeps it up.

5. Shaitan is grieved by it

6. It brings prolongation of life.

7. It enhances means of livelihood.

8. It brings happiness to the dead when they come to know about it

9. It strengthens mutual help: when you do good to someone, he would help you whole-heartedly in time of need.

10. One will benefit from it alter his death, as the beneficiaries will always remember him with good wishes and prayers.

Anas Radhiollaho anhu says that three types of persons will enjoy a place in the shade of the Grand Throne of Allah Ta'ala:-

1. The benefactor of the kith and kin, who gets a prolonged life and enhanced livelihood and also an enlarged grave.

2. A widow who brings up young children of her deceased husband, without her remarriage, so that she has no difficulties in looking after them till they are grown up. in his feasts.

Hasan Radhiyallahu anhu has quoted Rasulullah ﷺ to have said that Allah Ta'ala loves two foot-steps, the one taken for the sake of obligatory Salaat and the other taken to meet an intimate friend or a relation. Some Ulama have said that five things, if observed regularly and constantly, earn such rewards from Allah Ta'ala as are even bigger than high mountains, and one’s means of livelihood are also increased on account of them. These are: Constancy in giving Sadaqah, be it large or small; spending regularly on one’s relatives (to strengthen family bonds), whether one spends little or much; Jehaad (striving in the path of Allah); remaining always in a state of Wudhu (ablution); constancy in obedience to one’s parents. (Tanbeeh-ul-Ghafileen). A hadith says,"Strengthening ties of kinship is a virtue for which one is most readily rewarded and blessed by Allah; even many a sinner is granted abundance in wealth and in children, on account of kind behaviour towards relatives". (Ihya), It occurs in a Hadith that the following virtues cause one’s misfortune to change into good fortune, prolong one’s term of life and avert an evil death: giving away Sadaqah in the proper manner, adopting ways that are good and beneficial (for others), treating one’s parents with kindness, and maintaining bonds of kinship.

There are several other Ahadith which assert that a man’s livelihood is increased and his term of life is prolonged on account of his kindness towards his kinsmen. We have just quoted a few of them, by way of example. Rasulullah ﷺ has pointed out to us an easy way of achieving these two ambitions through strengthening ties of kinship. All those who desire a long life and extensive means of livelihood can try this prescription suggested by Rasulullah ﷺ, if they sincerely believe in the truth of his sayings, and spend as much as they can on strengthening kinship. For, it is bound to be recompensed with increase in means of livelihood and, furthermore, it guarantees a prolonged term of life.

Translation: HADITH: 3 Ibne Umar Radhiyallahu anhu narrates that Rasulullah ﷺ once said,"An excellent way of showing kindness to one’s father in his absence is to treat his friends and acquaintances in a kindly way".

Note: Absence may be temporary or permanent from this world i.e. death. In the latter case, showing kindness to one’s father’s friends will be a higher virtue. For, if a person treats his father’s friends kindly, in the absence of his father when alive, he may be doing so in order to win the favour of his father for his own selfish designs, whereas, if he treats them kindly even after the death of his father, this will not be for any selfish design, but will be out of genuine regard and esteem for him. In another Hadith, Ibne Dinar Rahmatullah ala i he relates that Abdullah Ibne Umar Rodhiallaho anhu was going on a journey to Makkah when he saw a bedouin going on the way. Ibne Umar Rodhiallaho anhu gave him his own riding-beast, took off his own turban and gave it to him as a gift. Ibne Dinar Rahmatullah alayhi said to him,"This man might have been pleased with something less". Ibne Umar Rodhiallaho anhu said, This man’s father was a friend of my father and I have heard Rasulullah ﷺ saying,"Showing kindness to the friends of ones father gets the best return"Abu Hurairah Rodhiallaho anhu says that, on one of his visits to Madinah, Ibne Umar came to see him and said,"Do you know why I have come to see you? I have heard Rasulullah ﷺ saying,"If anyone wishes to show kindness to his father who is dead, let him treat his father’s friends in a kindly manner, and (you know that) my father (Umar) was a friend of yours". (Targheeb).

A Hadith reports Abu Usaid Maalik bin Rabi‘ah Rodhiallaho anhu as saying,"While we were sitting in company with Rasulullah ﷺ, a man of the Banu Salma Tribe came to him and said,"O Rasulullah,, is there any way left for me to show kindness to my parents after their death?"He replied,"Yes, you can invoke Allah's blessings on them, make ‘Istighfaar’ for them (ask Allah’s forgiveness for them), fulfil the promises (if any) made by them with people, treat their relatives and dependents with kindness and show respect to their friends". (Mishkaat). A version adds: At this the man said,"What an excellent idea!"and Rasulullah ﷺ replied,"Practice it, then". (Targheeb)

Translation: HADITH: 4 Rasulullah ﷺ says,"If the parents of a person die, or one of them dies, and he has not been dutiftil to them, but he goes on asking

Translation: FAZA ILESADAQAAT - PART ONE forgiveness for them and making other supplications (Du‘aa) for them, Allah Ta'ala will record him as a dutiful son”.

Note: How bounteous are the blessings and favours of Allah Ta'ala to His men! very often, circumstances arise which cause a certain unpleasantness between parents and children, but the parent and children relationship is deep-rooted to allow for permanent estrangement from each other. So, when a man’s father or mother dies, filial love reasserts itself, he feels deep remorse and is distressed to remember their loving care for himself. Allah Ta'ala has, in His infinite Mercy and Compassion for man, shown a way for redeeming such situations. He has ordained that, if a person prays for Allah’s blessing for his parents after their death, makes ‘Istighfaar, for them and, after doing a good deed involving expenditure of money or otherwise, requests Allah to transfer its rewards to their credit (called 'Isal-e-Thawab), these good deeds will compensate for his failure to fulfil the duties he owed them in their lifetime and he will be recorded as a dutiful son. It is one of the greatest favours of Allah Ta'ala to His men that He has opened a way for the undutiful sons and daughters to atone for their sins, even after the death of their parents when, normally, it is said to be too late. What a shame would it be if we were too hard-hearted not to avail of this opportunity for atonement! For, there are very few whose behaviour to their parents is always correct and who give their parents their due rights. It is, therefore, advisable that each one of us should make a routine of performing some good deeds regularly and pray to Allah to transfer the blessings earned in this way to the credit of his deceased parents. It would be an excellent routine, in view of its splendid consequences.

A Hadith says that if anyone performs Hajj on behalf of his parents, it is treated as a ‘Hajj-e-Badal’ (i.e. it atones For their failure to perform Fardh Hajj during their life), the glad tidings whereof are conveyed to their souls in the Heavens above, and he is recorded as a dutiful son, even though he may have been undutiful heretofore. Another Hadith says that if a person performs Hajj on behalf of either of his parents, the father (or mother) receives reward for one Hajj, while his own reward for it is equal to that of a person performing Hajj nine times. Allama Ainee Rahmatullah alayhi has quoted a Hadith in his explanatory notes on Bukhari, to the following effectCH. Ill: AHADJTH - THE MAINTENANCE OF KINSHIP Whosoever recites the following Du‘aa, and then requests Allah Ta'ala to transfer the reward earned thereby to the credit of his parents, is like one having fulfilled his obligations to them:

All praise be to Allah, the Sustainer of the worlds; the Lord of the heavens and the earth; to Him alone belongs the true greatness in the heavens and in the earth and He alone has supremacy and is Wise. All praise be to Allah, the Lord of the heavens and the Lord of the earth, the SuMainer of the Worlds, to Him alone belongs Mqjesty in the heavenaandin the earth, and He is Supreme and Wise; He alone is the' Sovereign, Lord of the heavens and the earth and the Sustaiher of the Worlds; to Him alone belongs the celestial light (Nur) of the heavens and the earth and He is the Mqjestic, the Wise.

Another Hadith relates: What does it cost a person if, having spent something as a Nafl Sadaqah, he prays to Allah Ta'ala to transfer the reward to his parents, provided they be Muslims? For, in that case, they will receive the blessings while his own reward will not decrease. (Kara). According to this Hadith, a man does not need to perform any virtuous deed exclusively for his parents; he should just pray to Allah Ta'ala to transfer to his parents the rewards earned by him by spending for a good cause.

Abdullah Ibne Salaam Radhiyallahu anhu says: I swear by the name of the Immaculate Being, Who sent Rasulullah Sailed laho alayhi wa sallam with the message of truth, it is implied in the Sacred Book of Allah, ‘Do not sever kinship with him who has done a favour to strengthen kinship with your father, for that might cause your loss of faith. It occurs in another Hadith that"Whosoever goes to visit the graves of his parents, or the grave of either of thefti; on every Friday, his sins will be forgiven and he will be counted among the dutiful".

Allama Auzaa'ee Rahmatullah alayhi says, I have heard it said that, if a person whq has been undutiful towards his parents makes ‘Istighfaar’ for them after their death, pays off their debts and does not speak ill of them, he will be counted as dutiful; and that, if a person who has been dutiful towards his parents speaks ill of them after their death, does not pay off the debt they owed, nor makes ‘Istighfaar’ for them, he will be treated as undutiful. (al-Durr al-Manthur)

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HADITH: 5 Rasulullah ﷺ once said, ''Shall I not advise you on an excellent Sadaqah? It is what you spend to provide for a daughter who has been sent back to you, and who has no one but you to earn her livelihood.

Note: ‘Has been sent back to you’ means sent back to you after being widowed or divorced by her husband. It may also mean that some other circumstances have necessitated her coming back to her parents. In these cases, all that is spent to meet her requirements is treated as an excellent Sadaqah, for it combines many acts of virtue:

(1) Sadaqah, (2) helping a person in distress, (3) strengthening family bonds, (4) loving care for one’s children, and (5) sympathy with the grieved"for earlier, when the children lived with their parents, they felt happy to look after their needs; but, when they come back to the parents, after having been married and having started to live happily in their own homes, both the children and the parents feel extremely grieved. Rasulullah ﷺ once said, Tor anyone helping a distressed person Allah Ta'ala records seventy-three grades of forgiveness, one of which shall suffice him for his well-being in all worldly affairs and seventy two will raise him spiritually on the Day of Judgment’.

We have already referred to a number of Traditions bearing upon this subject in Chapter one, undet the Hadith quoted at Serial No. 26. Umme Salamah Radhiyallahu anha once asked Rasulullah ﷺ ‘Shall I gain any toward for what I spend on the sons of Abu Salamah my previous husband, for they are my sons? He replied, ‘Spend on them, you will be rewarded for spending on them’. (Mishkaat). Besides, it is a praiseworthy act, according to Shariah, to treat one’s children with kindness and loving care, even when they are not in need of help. Once Rasulullah ﷺ caressed his grandsons, Hasan or Husain Radhiyallahu.anhuma who were with him and Aqra Ibne Haabis, the chief of Banu Tameem, who was also with him at that time said,"I have ten children and I have never shown affection to any one of them". ‘Rasulullah ﷺ regarded him with sharp looks and said,"He who does not show mercy, will not be shown mercy". It occurs in another Hadith that a nomadic Arab asked Rasulullah.Do you kiss your children?We do not kiss them": Rasulullah ﷺ replied,"How can I help it when Allah Ta'ala has made your heart devoid of tender feelings". If a person treats children kindly when they are in distress, he gets a specific reward in addition to that for showing kindness to his children normally.

HADITH: 6 Rasulullah ﷺ has said,"A Sadaqah given to a poor man is merely Sadaqah, but when It is given to a relative, it serves two purposes: it Is both a Sadaqah and an extra act of kindness for kinship".

Note: While giving Sadaqah, the poor relatives should be given preference over the poor ones among the common people, as it is more virtuous to spend on one’s kinsmen. This is the subject of many a Tradition, and it has been treated in the Ahadith in various ways. Rasulullah ﷺ said,"Of the (four) Dinaars, a Dinaar you contribute in the path of Allah, a Dinaar spent to set free slave, a Dinaar given as Sadaqah to a poor man and a Dinaar spent to provide for your family - the one spent to support your family will bring the greatest reward, provided it is spent solely for the pleasure of Allah Ta'ala and they need help". It has been narrated in another Hadith that once, when Maimunah Radhiyallahu anha set free a slave-girl, Rasulullah Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, It would have given you greater reward if you had given her to your maternal unde". Once Rasulullah Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam specifically exhorted women to give Sadaqah. After listening to the exhortation, Zainab returned to her husband Abdullah Ibne Mas‘ood, an eminent Sahabi and a great Faqeeh, and said to him,"Rasulullah Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam has commanded us to give Sadaqah and you are financially weak; so go and ask him if my spending on you will count as Sadaqah. Abdullah Ibne Mas‘ood Radhiyallahu anhu told her that she had better go and ask it herself. (Possibly he felt shy to ask the question himself or might have thought it would appear selfish of him to ask such a question). So she went to Rasulullah Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and found a woman standing at his door, Who had come for the same purpose, but they dare not ask him. Meanwhile Bilal Radhiyallahu anhu came out, so they said to him,"Go to Rasulullah Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and tell him that there are two women at the door who have come to ask whether it would count as Sadaqah if they gave something to their husbands and to the orphans, who are in their charge, from among the children of their late husbands". Bilal Radhiyallahu anhu went in and conveyed the message to Rasulullah Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, who asked him who the women were, whereupon Bilal told him that there was a woman from the Ansar and Zainab, the wife of Abdullah bin Mas'ood. Rasulullah Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam then said,"Yes; and they will get two rewards: one for the kinship and the other for Sadaqah". (Mishkaat).

All Radhiyallahu anhu says,"I would love to help my brother with a Dirham rather than spend twenty Dirhams on another person. I would rather help him (a brother) with a hundred Dirham, than set free a slave". Clhya), It occurs in another Hadith that (while spending money) the first preference should be given to one’s own needs; if the money exceeds one’s needs, it should be spent on one’s family; if there is still something extra, it should be spent on other relatives; and if there is still some left, it should be distributed among other people - (Ram). There are many other Ahadith on this subject related in Kanz-ul-Ummal and some other collections of Ahadith; but the Ahadith mean that, when spending money, a person can prefer his family above others only if he knows for certain that his family is more in need of help. But if others are in greater neLof help or he himself, in spite of his need, has patience with perfaft trust in Allah Ta'ala, it is highly commendable to prefer others’ needs to his own; We have already discussed this point in Chapter one under the Ayah 28 beginning:

Ali Radhiyallahu anhu relates:"Shall I tell you an incident about myself and my wife, Fatimah Radhiyallahu anha, the dearest and most loved, daughter of Rasulullah ﷺ, who lived with me in my house. She used to grind the com herself so that calluses grew on the palms of. her hands; she fetched water for the house in a goatskin bag, the straps of which had left a mark on her body, she swept the house herself, which soiled her clothes; she cooked the food so that her dress became black with smoke; In Short, she did all the strenuous household jobs herself. Once some warcaptives were brought to Rasulullah ﷺ and I asked her to go to him and ask him for a helper. She went to Rasulullah ﷺ but. as there Were many people round him, she could not ask him for shyneasM version has: She mentioned the matter to Aishah Radhiyallahu an ha and came "I, ' f back,Next day. Rasulullah ﷺ visited us and said, Tatimah, what did you want to tell me yesterday?"She felt shy and kept quiet I told Rasulullah ﷺ about her dmly labours and her haying to fetch water, etc., and said that I had sent her to ask for a servant Rasulullah Saltallaho alayhi wa sallam said, 'Let me suggest something that is better than a servant when you go to bed, say: () (Glory be to Allah) thirty-three times, f) (Ptoa be to Allah) thirty three times and () (Allah is Great) thirty four times That will be better for you than a servant". (Abu-Dawaod). Another version of the Hadith adds: Rasulullah ﷺ said,"I cannot give yon a servant at this time when the 'Companions of the Suffah’ are suffering from pangs of hunger. I shall sell the slaves and spend the price on their requirements". (Fath-ul-Bari)

Translation: HADITH: 7 Asmaa Radhiyallahu anha, daughter of Abu Bakr, says that, when Rasulullah ﷺ was negotiating a treaty with the Quraish, her mother, who was a non-believer, came (from Makkah) to visit her (in Madinah) and she asked,"O Rasulullah, my mother has come to me, expecting me to help her; shall 1 help her?” Rasulullah ﷺ replied,"Yes, do help her".

Note: In the early days of Islam, Muslims were mercilessly persecuted by the non-believers and books on History are full of painful details of their miseries. Even when the Muslims migrated to Madinah Munawwarah, the non-believers did not allow them to live in peace. They attacked them and harassed them in all possible ways. Once Rasulullah ﷺ came to Makkah with a small number of his Sahabah Radhaillaho anhum, with the sole intention of performing Umrah, but the non-believers prevented their entry into the Sacred City and compelled them to return to Madinah without performing the rites of Umrah. On this occasion, however, Rasulullah ﷺ made a treaty with the Quraish to stop hostilities for a few years, on certain conditions. This is a well-known event of Islamic history, to which Asmaa Radhiyallahu anha has referred in the above-quoted Hadith Jt was during those days of treaty that the divorced wife of Abu Bakr Radhiyallahu anhot who was the mother of Asmaa Radhiyallahu anha but who had not embraced Islam, came to visit her in Madinah Munawwarah in the hope of gaining some financial help. As she was a non-believer, Asmaa Radhiyallahu anha could not decide whether she should help her or not, and so asked Rasufullah ﷺ about it, who advised her to help her mother. Commenting on this incident, Imaam Khattabi Rahmatullah alayhi writes:"We can infer from this incident that it is necessary to give material help to our kinsmen, irrespective of their being Muslims or non-Muslims. A Tradition says that the following Ayah was revealed concerning this incident:

Allah does not forbid you to show kindness to and deal justly with those who did not make war against you on account of Deen (religion) and did not drive you out from your homes. Lo! Allah loves those who deal justly. (al-Mumtahinah: 8)

Commenting on the Ayah, Maulana Ashraf Ali Thanwi Rahmatullah alayhi writes, lt refers to the non-believers who have become ‘Zimmis’ (non-Muslim subjects livihg in a Muslim state) or those non-Muslims who have agreed to live at peace with the Muslims. It is commendable to treat these classes kindly. In this context,"Show kindness and deal justly means that they be treated kindly, in view of their being subjects of a Muslim state or are reconcilable Not to speak of a Zimmi, it is incumbent upon a Mu'min to deal justly with every man, Muslim or non-Muslim,, and even with animals". (Bayanul- Qur'an). The name of Asmaa's mother is said to be ‘Qailah’ or ‘Qutailah’, daughter of Abdul-Uzza, who had been divorced by Abu Bakr Radhaiallaho ortho as she had not embraced Islam. Some traditions relate that when she came to visit her daughter Asmaa Radhiyallahu anha, with some cheese and purified butter as gifts for her, Asmaa did not allow her to enter her house, but sent a messenger to her half-aster, Aishah Radhiyallahu anha requesting her to ask Rasulullah ﷺ whether she (Asmaa) could allow her non-Muslim mother into her house. When asked, Rasulullah ﷺ gave her the permission and the above- quoted Ayah was revealed concerning this incident (Fatah and al-Durr al-Manthur). The incident speaks of the firm iaith of the ladies of those times, which is really enviable. Just magine! Her mother comes to her house just to see her (for, she has not yet asked her for any help) but the lady does not allow her to come in till she has ascertained, by sending a messenger and asking Rasulullah ﷺ, whether it is permissible to entertain one’s non-Muslim relatives.. Many traditions have it that, in the early days of Islam, the Sahaabah did not like to give Sadaqah to their non-Muslim relatives, till the following Ayah was revealed:

Their acceptance of Islam is not thy duty (Q Muhammad), but Allah grants whom He will And whatsoever good thing you spend (as Sadaqah, etc) it is for yourselves, when you spend not axcept for seeking Allah's pleasure (al-Baqarah 272)

The Ayah implies that whatever a man spends as Sadaqah, etc., for the sake at Allah Taala may be given to any needy person, Muslim or non-Muslim. Ibne Abbas Radhiyallahu anhu says: People did not like to treat their non-Muslim relatives with favour, so that they, too, might come into the fold of Islam. Some of them asked Rasulullah ﷺ about it and, on this occasion, the Ayah was revealed. The same subject has appeared in several other Ahadith (al-Durr al-Manthur). Imaam Ghazali Rahmatullah alayhi writes:"Once a fire-worshipper (Magian) Came to Ibrahim Alaihissalam and requested to be entertained as a guest. Ibrahim Alaihissalam refused to entertain him saying,"If you embrace Islam, I shall be pleased to entertain you". The Magian went away, but a revelation came to Ibrahim Alaihissalam from Allah Ta'ala saying, Ibrahim, you would not feed a non-Muslim for a night until he accepted your creed, while I have been feeding him for the last seventy years, notwithstanding his being a non-believer. It would not have mattered much if you had given him a meal". Ibrahim Alaihissalam got up at once and went in search of the Magian and asked him to come back and share a meal with him. The Magian came back and, having taken the meal, asked Ibrahim Alaihissalam what had made him go out and search for him. At this, Ibrahim Alaihissalam told him about the revelation, on hearing which the fireworshipper embraced Islam and said,"As He has been treating me so kindly, I accept Islam. Please give me necessary instructions". (Ihya). A Hadith relates three matters, which, are a must for everybody: (1) treating one's parents with kindness, be they Muslims or non-Muslims; (2) fulfilling one’s undertaking, whether it is for a Muslim or a non-Muslim; (3) returning a thing kept in trust, to its owner, be he a Muslim or a non-Muslim. (Jaame-us-Saghir). The three divines,Muhammad Ibne Hanafiyy ah, Ataa and Qatadah Rahmalullah alaihim, are agreed that the following Ayah from the Qur'an requires the Muslims to deal kindly with those of their relatives who are Jews, Christians or other non-Muslims:

Except that you should deal kindly with your friends. (al-Ahzaab: 6)

Translation: HADITH: 8 Rasulullah ﷺ has said,"All creatures are Allah’s family (dependents) and those are dearest to Allah who treat His family men with kindness."

Note: The phrase"All creatures"includes Muslims, nonMuslims, all mankind, and animals. Islam teaches us to behave kindly towards all creatures, so as to earn love from Allah. We have already quoted a Hadith at serial No. 10 in Chapter one, which relates how an unchaste woman was granted forgiveness by Allah Ta'ala, by virtue of an act of kindness i.e. giving some water to a thirsty dog. Another Hadith, quoted at serial No. 8 in Chapter two above, relates that a woman was punished for starving her pet cat to death. Such are the rewards for showing kindness to animals; one can imagine how bountiful will be the reward for the good treatment and kindness shown to human beings, who are the best of creation. An oft-quoted Hadith says:

"Show mercy to those who are on the earth; He Who is in the Heavens will have mercy on youn 1 According to another Hadith, Rasulullah ﷺ once said,"Allah Ta'ala will not show mercy to him who does not show mercy to other people". Still another Hadith has:"Mercy is taken away from the heart of an ill-fated person."(Mishkaat). Each and every incident from the life history of Rasulullah ﷺ bears testimony to the fact that his blessed life was a mercy for the entire world. Therefore, it is important that every member of the Muslim Ummah should try to learn the details of his everyday life and follow his blessed example. Allah Ta'ala says:

And we have sent you (for no other purpose than) to show mercy to all the people of the entire world. (al-Ambyia: 107)

Commenting on this Ayah, Ibne Abbas Radhiyallahu anhu says: Undoubtedly the sacred personality of Rasulullah ﷺ is a mercy both in this world and in the Akhirah for those who believe in him as a Rasul of Allah Ta'ala. What is more, his life is also a mercy for those who do not believe in him. For, through the benedictions Sf Rasulullah ﷺ, they have been saved from suffering drastic punishments in this life, which were inflicted on the Ummahs of the past for their sins,' such as being swallowed up by the earth or being changed into animals, or being stoned to death from above.

Abu Hurairah Radhiyallahu anhu says that Rasulullah ﷺ was asked, ' Invoke Allah's curse upon the Quraish, for they have been very cruel in persecuting the Muslims and have caused them great harm, but he replied,"I have not been sent to curse people. I have been sent as a mercy to mankind!” And there are many other Traditions on the same subject. (al-Durr al-Manthur). In the ‘Stones of Sahabah’ the harrowing tale of the sufferings of Rasulullah ﷺ on his visit to Ta’if has been related, describing how the wretched people of Taa’if treated him mercilessly and pelted him with stones, so that his body was covered with blood. But when the angel of the mountains came and said to him that, if he wished, he (the angel) would cause the hills on both sides of Ta'if to collide so that all the humans within would be crushed to death, Rasulullah ﷺ said,"No, if they do not. embrace Islam, I hope among their progeny there will be such who will do so and pray to Him: In the Battle of Uhud,when the Quraish made a severe attack on Rasulullah ﷺ and one of his blessed teeth was broken, he was asked to curse them, but all he said was, O Allah, show my people the path of Hidayat (of Truth). They do not know me". Once Umar Radhiyallahu anhu said,"O Rasulullah, if you had invoked Allah Ta'ala against us (in our pre-Islamic days) as Nooh Alaihissalam did, all of us would have been ruined. But you tolerated all manner of torture at our hands, and still, always implored Allah, saying, ‘O Allah forgive my people, for they do not know!"Qazi Ayaa z Rahmatullah alayhi says, If we carefully consider all these incidents, we find in them the great height of moral attainments of Rasulullah ﷺ, showing his great forbearance, nobility of disposition and magnanihiity. The nonbelievers treated him in the cruellest possible way,but Rasulullah ﷺ always implored Allah Ta'ala to forgive them and grant them proper guidance (i.e Hidayat).

The story of Ghawath bin Harith is well-known in the life history of Rasulullah ﷺ. Once Rasulullah ﷺ was on a journey and went to sleep all by himself; Ghawath came along unsheathing his sword and awakening him said,"Who can protect you from me?"Rasulullah ﷺ said,"Allah!"On hearing this, Ghawath began to tremble with fear and the sword fell from his hand! Rasulullah then took up the sword and said, ‘Who will protect you from me?"The man, seeking his forgiveness, said, You are the best among those who grasp a sword, upon which Rasulullah ﷺ pardoned him and let him go. It is also well-known that a Jewish woman poisoned Rasulullah ﷺ and, when questioned, she admitted her crime but he did not take revenge from her. Labeed Ibnal-A'sam, the Jew, cast a spell on Rasulullah ﷺ, who was told about it but did not even like the people to know about it. In short, there are numerous incidents in history which speak of the noble and merciful behaviour of Rasulullah towards his enemies.

Rasulullah ﷺ also said: ’You cannot be a (perfect) Mu'min unless you behave mercifully to one another; The Sahabah Radhiyallahu anhum submitted,"O Rasulullah every one of us shows mercy to others", but Rasulullah ﷺ said, 'True mercy does not consist in showing mercy to one’s own friends, kinsmen, fellow-Muslims; true mercy is that which is all-embracing'’. Once Rasulullah ﷺ went to a house where some people of the Quraish were sitting together, and said to them,"Power shall remain among the Quraish and they shall rule as long as they show mercy to those who ask for mercy, act justly towards people while giving decisions, give due share to everybody while distributing things; and he who does not observe these will be cursed by Allah Ta'ala, cursed by the angels and cursed by all mankind. Once Rasulullah ﷺ went to a house where some Ansaar were sitting in company with Muhgjireen. When they saw him coming, everybody moved from his place to make room, each one wishing that Rasulullah. ﷺ should sit close to him, but he stood in the doorway, resting his hands on the bar's of the door, and said, You owe me a lot! The Quraish will rule as long as they observe three things particularly: (1) Showing mercy to him who asks for it; (2) Acting justly while giving a decision; (3) Holding fast to a treaty made with other people. He who does not observe these things shall be cursed by Allah Ta'ala, cursed by the angels and cursed by all mankind". Rasulullah ﷺ has said,"Whosoever kills a sparrow without justification will have to account for it on the Day of Judgment. When asked by the Sahabah what does a man owe to a sparrow. Rasulullah ﷺ replied,"It should be eaten after being killed properly and not thrown away uselessly ’.

FAZA 'ILrESADAQAAT - PART ONE There are numerous Ahaditb to the effect that Teed those of your servants who are under your control from what you eat, clothe them as you wear, dispose of them when they do not suit you, but do not punish them, for you have no right to do so. (Targheeb) According to another Hadith, Rasulullah ﷺ once said,"When your servant cooks some food, having suffered heat and smoke, you should ask him to partake of it. But if the food is small in quantity, you should give him a small part of it. t Miskkaat). Another Hadith has: Treating those under one’s authority well is blessed, while treating them badly invites misfortune". (Miskkaat). To conclude, Rasulullah ﷺ has insisted that the believers (Mo’mineen) show mercy to all creatures and has exhorted them, in various ways, to be generous to all.

Translation: HADITH: 9 Rasulullah ﷺ is reported to have said:."He who gives equal treatment in response does not really strengthen family bonds; but he is the one who through kind behaviour strengthens his ties of kinship with those who sever relations with him.11

Note: Obviously, if you believe that you should treat your relatives just as they have treated you, you have done little for strengthening family bonds. For, this principle applies even to strangers: you are morally bound to do good to a person who has done a good turn to you. But, if you do good to a kinsman who does not' show much concern for you, remains aloof from you or even severs relations with you, your kind behaviour towards him would spring from a regard for the sanctity of family bonds. It is, therefore, desirable that you should never think of how a kinsman treats you but think of what you owe him and continue to fulfil your obligations to him, lest you should be called to account on the Day of Judgment for negligence in observing your duty to him. Never for a moment entertain a thought of wh dt he owes you on account of your kinship with him; you should rather feel happy if you are not receiving what is due from him. For, on the Dy of Judgement your reward for foregoing your rights will be tar greater than the material benefits you would have gained if he had fulfilled them.

Once a Sahabi Radhiyallahu anhu said to Rasulullah ﷺ, “O Rasulullah, I have some relatives; I try to strengthen bonds of kinship with them but they ignore me; I treat them with kindness but they treat me badly; I exercise forbearance in my behaviour towards them but they are rude to me”. Rasulullah ﷺ said,"If you are treating them as you say, you are throwing dust in their faces (they will be humiliated) and Allah Ta'ala will continue to support you against them as long as you remain steadfast in your behaviour."(Mishkaat). And, what harm can come to a person who is continuously supported by Allah Ta'ala in all his affairs! How can anybody who severs relations with him deprive him of any benefit? An Urdu poet says:

Poetic Translation: Liz- Lr buid-i.

"I would not have Thee forsaking me, O Lord; O what a calamity (it would) be to be forsaken by you! If Thou art mine, I won't mind being forsaken by the entire world"

There is no denying the fact that, if Allah Ta'ala supports a person, he does not need help from anyone else. For, all the world will work for his good and, even if all people were to unite against him, they would not be able to do him any harm. Another Hadith reports Rasulullah ﷺ as saying,"Allah My Lord has commanded me to observe nine things: (1) To fear Allah openly and in private (i.e.fear Him from my heart and in my outward behaviour, or fear Him in my lonely hours and while sitting in company with people); (2) to speak justly, both when I am pleased and when angry (when pleased, a person hides the faults and extols the virtues and when angry he frames false accusations; I must speak justly under all condtions); (3) to adopt moderation both in poverty and in prosperity (i.e. not to be miserly in poverty, nor extravagant in prosperity; or, it may mean ‘not to grumble or complain when poor, nor take pride when rich); (4) to strengthen ties of kinship with him who has severed relations with me; (5) to show favour to him who has denied me his favours; (6) to forgive him who has wronged me; (7) that my silence should be devoted to meditation (on the signs of Allah Ta'ala or the circumstances of the Akhirah, etc.); (8) that my speech should be devoted to Glorifying Him or explaining His commandments to people; (9) that my looking at things should be for taking a lesson; (10) that I should enjoin what is good”. The Hadith mentions nine commands but seems to give ten. It may be that the tenth command is meant to sum up the details given in the first nine. Or, the commands given at serial no. 7 and 8 may be taken as one command, as in case of the first command (which enjoins fear of Allah, both in public and in private) two commands have been combined into one and, again in case of the second command (speaking justly both when pleased and when angiy), two commands have been combined into one. Hakim bin Hazaam Radhiyallahu anhu anhu says that someone asked Rasulullah ﷺ as to what kind of Sadaqah was the best, to which he replied,"Behaving kindly towards a relative who harbours enmity towards you". (Targhib). A Hadith narrates that Rasulullah ﷺ said,"Anyone who wants to have high grades and lofty apartments awarded to him on the Day of Judgment should forgive a person who wrongs him and show kindness to him who denies him his favours and strengthen ties of kinship with him who has broken it off with him. (al-Durr al-Manthur). According to another Hadith, when this Ay at was revealed:

Keep to forgiveness (0 Muhammad and enjoin kindness, and turn away from the rudely ignorant. (al-Alraf: 199)

Rasulallah ﷺ asked Jibra'il Alaihissalam to explain it to him. Jibra’il Alaihisalam said, ‘I shall tell you about it after asking the One Who knows. So Jibra’il Alaihissalam went away and came back and told Rasulullah ﷺ that Allah Ta'ala was commanding hlhi (in this Ayah) to forgive those who wrong him, to grant favours to those who deny him their favours and to strengthen ties of kinship with those who sever relationship with him”.

Another version of the Hadith adds,"After this revelation Rasulullah ﷺ addressed the people thus: Shall l guide you to t he excellent qualities of character for this life and for the Akhirah?"The Sahabah said,"Certainly!"and he continued,"They are, to forgive him who has wronged you, to give a favour to him who has denied you of his favours, to reunite ties of relationship with him who has broken it off with you". Ali Radhiyallahu anhu says that once Rasulullah Sollalloho alayhi wa sallam said,"Shall I guide you to the excellent qualities of character possessed by the noble people of the earlier and the later times?"I said, Certainly’ and he said, They are: to favour him who has deprived you of his favours; to forgive him who has wronged you and to rejoin ties of kinship with him who has severed relations with you. Uqbah Radhiyallahu anhu says that Rasulullah ﷺ asked, 'Shall I guide you to the excellent qualities of character for this life and the Hereafter? And then mentioned the aforesaid qualties. A number of Sahabah Radhiyallahu anhum have related Ahadith to the same ef. feet Abu Hurairah Radhiyallahu anhu reports Rasulullah ﷺ as spying,"Nobody can attain perfect sincerity in faith (Iman) until he observes the following: Joins ties of kinship with those who have severed it with him, forgives those who wrong him, pardons those who abuse him and does good to those who ill treat him. (al-Durr al-Manthur)

HADITH: 10 Rasulullah ﷺ said, There is no in for which the doer more deserves punishment in this world, in addition to that reserved for him in the Akhirah, than the committing of oppression and severing kinship.

Note: The Hadith means that the two sins, oppression and severing family bonds, are more readily punished in this world (in addition to the punishment in the Akhirah) than any other sin. Another Hadith says: Of all the sins, Allah Ta'ala forgives whichever He likes except the sin of severing kinship with one’s parents, which is punished in this life before the death of the sinner". (Mishkaat). Still another Hadith says, The punishment for every sin is delayed by Allah Ta'ala till the Day of Resurrection, except for the sin of undutifulness to parents, the doer of which is readily punished in this world. (Jamius-Sagheer). There are quite a few Ahadith to the effect that, on the Day of Judgement, Allah Ta'ala will grantTlehem' (a symbol of kinship) the power to speak; it will catch hold of the Throne (Arsh) of Allah Ta'ala and beseech Him repeatedly, thus"O Allah, grant your reconciliation to him who reconciled with me, and ignore him who ignored me!"Also there are several Ahadith which report Allah Ta'ala as saying, ‘Rehem (symbol for family bonds) is a derivative of Ar-Rahman (The Compassionate one), one of My Attributive Names. I, who am Rahman, shall look after him who looks after kinship; and ignore him who ignores family kinship. It occurs in another Hadith that Allah's Mercy does not descend upon a people among whom there is a person who has severed ties with his kinsmen. Another Hadith reports Rasulullah ﷺ as saying,"Men’s deeds are submitted to Allah Taala every Thursday, but no good act is accepted from a person who severs family connections." (al-Durr al-Manthur)

Faqih Abul-Laith Rahmatullah alayhi says:"The sin of a person severing family bonds is the most abominable one; so much so that those who sit in company with him are also deprived of blessings from Allah Ta'ola. Therfore, everyone must repent of this sin, as soon as possible, and make efforts to reunite ties of relationship with his kinsmen. For, Rasulullah ﷺ has said, ‘There is no virtue more readily rewarded than the act of reuniting family bonds; and there is no sin of which the doer is more readily punished in this world, besides having punishment stored up for him in the Akhirah, than the one committing oppression and the one severing ties of kinship."(Tanbeh ul-Ghafileen). One day after Fajr Salaat, Abdullah Ibne Masud Radhiyallahu anhu was sitting in company with a number of people when he said,"O people, take an, oath, if anyone of you has severed ties of relationship with his kinsmen, he should go away and leave us alone. For, we are going to beseech a favour of Allah Ta'ola and the gates of the heavens are closed for him who has broken kinship". (Targheeb) He meant that the prayers of such a person do not reach the heavens, because the doors of the heavens are closed even before iis Dua‘a reaches there. And, if their prayers also went up along with his, all would be turned back from the heavens.

There are many other Traditions on this subject and numerous incidents occuring in this world testify to the fact that a person severing relations with his family, falls a prey to misfortunes and feels miserable throughout his life. In their ignorance, such people do not realize that, howsoever hard they struggle, they will not find an escape from their misery (which is a consequence of the breach in family-bonds) unless they repent and compensate the wrong. And if, under the evil influence of this sin, a man begins to practice something irreligious, taking it to be a genuine act at religion, it will be far more harmful for him, as he might die without entertaining a thought of repentance (why should he repent of what he believes to be a virtue?) May Allah, in His infinite Bounty, grant ns protection!